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Grief & Loss: how to cope with your loss

 

This section on grief and loss addresses the inevitable passing of our loved ones, which seems to always catch most of us off guard regardless of how prepared we think we are!

Preparing yourself (or your loved one) for death.  My sister, who spent countless hours with our father up until his last breath, urges us to start thinking about our loved one's passing early on.  This is not to say to give up all hope of recovery, but to be realistic about the final outcome of the present situation.  No one had mentioned anything about dying...until one ambulance Paramedic tending to our Dad asked my mother and sister if we had looked into hospice yet.  He added that Dad was in his last days - this Paramedic had seen many patients this frail and knew that our dear Dad was not going to live much longer.  He was right.

"Unfortunately, most folks aren't prepared for the first round [of death in our family]... Especially as a caregiver, I was too consumed with the day to day, that death did not even cross my mind.  This was probably a result of being too close to the situation, daily, and not noticing the physical changes in Dad.  That, plus it never really hit me that Dad would die!  (Denial)

"This is a really wonderful and helpful book I wish I'd read before Dad died..."

By Maggie Callanan and Patricial Kelley (Nurses)

Although family and friends feel the loss of someone dear, they cope with this loss in different ways.  Grief and mourning, many articles say, have stages through which people move in no particular order.   But even though they are all feeling the emptiness, hurt and change that unavoidably come from losing someone, they may not necessarily handle those new feelings and situations in the same way as you do.  You will figure out how to cope with your loss by working through your grief in your own personal way.  Do remember to give yourself time to heal; but at the same time, do not allow yourself to lose hope of feeling better again.

It is important to let out your feelings of grief.  Friends and family will often offer help, but don’t know how to best help you.  Do take them up on their offer and let them know how they can help you.  They won’t know otherwise.  Many times, people don’t want to interfere or don’t want to bother you at a time like this, so they may not call on you as much.  It is not because they don’t care, but perhaps they are just waiting for you to call on them for help!  Even if it is only to hear a friendly voice or to say how sad you feel, do call on the people who truly care about you.  You will be able to better cope with your loss and will both feel better for it!

Another way to help the healing begin is to join a grief support group.  Many local churches and organizations have them.  You could even ask your doctor where to look for one.  Remember that everyone attending one of these mourning support groups has lost someone and can offer, if nothing else, complete understanding of how you feel.  You can find ways to cope with your loss, to move through your grief and then to move past it.

From  GRIEFHEALING.COM  -  Understanding the Grief Process

Death may have ended your loved one’s life, but it did not end your relationship. The bond you have will continue and endure throughout your lifetime, depending on how you take your memories and your past with you into the future.

Time does not heal grief. Time is neutral. It is not the passage of time alone that heals.  It is what you do with time that matters. Now that this death has happened to you, you must decide what you can do with your grief. Grieving is an active process, not a passive one, and recovery is a choice. Coping with grief involves many courses of action, and as you find your way through this first year of grief, you will learn how to use this grieving time to help you heal yourself.

 

 

GRIEF

AARP - GRIEF & LOSS

BEREAVEMENT CARE

CHANGE AND LOSS COACH  -  Austin, TX: Teresa Bitner

THE CHRISTI CENTER  - Austin, TX

PUMPHREY FUNERAL HOME - JOURNEY THROUGH GRIEF - SELF, OTHERS, YOUTH  -  Rockville, MD

GRIEF VIDEOS

GRIEVING PROCESS & HEALING  -  ABOUT.COM

GRIEF PROCESS: UNDERSTANDING & MANAGING  -  ALL ABOUT LIFE CHALLENGES.ORG

THE GRIEVING PROCESS: STAGES, FACTS, HELP, SUICIDE  -  HNS.ORG

THE 5 STAGES OF LOSS & GRIEF  -  PSYCH CENTRAL

COPING WITH DEATH AND DYING, COUNSELING SERVICES-UNIV. AT BUFFALO

FOCUS ON THE FAMILY.COM - UNDERSTANDING THE GRIEF PROCESS

Book results for grief process

GRIEF COUNSELING   -  COUNSELING FOR LOSS & LIFE CHANGES

Book results for grief counseling

GRIEF COUNSELING METHODS TO EASE THE PAIN   -  INNERZINE.COM

GRIEF COUNSELING - THE TOP 5 WAYS TO ELIMINATE GRIEF

Book results for grief counseling techniques

WHEN DEATH OCCURS: WHAT TO DO

SMALL BIRD STUDIOS - LOSS OF CHILD

BRIGHTER TOMORROWS - LOSS OF CHILD TO CANCER

THE GRIEF TOOLBOX - COMMUNITY & TOOLS TO COPE

 


CHILDREN

GRIEF COUNSELING FOR CHILDREN  - EHOW.COM

GRIEF SUPPORT FOR CHILDREN AND TEENS  - THE HEALING PLACE.ORG

GRIEF COUNSELING FOR PARENTS ONLY - DUBUQUE.K12.IA.US

 

 

TEENS

GRIEF COUNSELING FOR TEENS   -  KIDSHEALTH.ORG

FOCUS ADOLESCENT SERVICES: SIMPLY LISTEN, HELPING OTHERS COPE WITH GRIEF

THE GRIEVING TEEN  -  AMERICAN HOSPICE FOUNDATION.ORG

GRIEF SUPPORT FOR CHILDREN AND TEENS   -  THE HEALING PLACE INFO.ORG

GRIEF COUNSELING FOR PARENTS ONLY   -  DUBUQUE.K12.IA.US

GRIEF & LOSS RESOURCES FOR TEENS  -  DEPRESSION.ABOUT.COM


HELPING TEENAGERS COPE WITH GRIEF   -   HOSPICENET.ORG

Book results for TEEN grief counseling

FINDING HOPE AFTER LOSS - OPENTOHOPE.COM

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